The Deciding Factor

I sit in the dark with a problem to ponder

The difficult part is that my mind seems to wander.

My thoughts are divergent, avoiding decision,

So I force my mind back, resolution the mission.

My friends want to help; I know they mean well,

With their misguided views, which they all try to sell,

As the one perfect answer to my untimely bind.

I sigh with a smile, and then try to be kind.

I'll listen with interest, ask a question or two,

Say their solution is hopeful but I've much to review.

A lot of components are involved in deciding

My future and fate - from that there's no hiding.

I call up my parents and know that they care,

But of the countless minutiae, they're not quite aware.

They say they'll support me, no matter my choice

And hang up, satisfied, that they had a voice.

My sister is friendly, but her life is her own.

By mutual consent we leave each other alone.

I love her as family, and have since our youth

But I sometimes don't like her - that's my dark secret truth.

I do have a brother that I've not seen for years,

The last time we spoke, it seems we parted in tears.

And the source of our fight; well, I just couldn't tell.

But wherever he is now, I do wish him well.

If the darkest hour is before the dawn, I guess it just passed by;

Outside the dark is rolling back a perfect, cloudless sky.

With my first view of the morning light, my eyes begin to mist.

Another day with perplexities - I'll just add them to the list.

I need some air so I take a walk; the birds awake to greet me.

A soft warm breeze lightly whispers by, as I let my feet lead me.

I take in my surroundings, and allow my mind to wander.

This time I am not running, though, it's the beauty that I ponder.

This early dawn is like no other time - hope seems in the air.

Despite my worries, I begin to smile - a sight, I confess, that's rare.

A small black cat crosses my path and stops, its head upturned.

In my direction, his eyes meet mine; that's trust I see he's learned.

I glance in all directions to make sure no one's around,

And then bend down to pet this cat, with one knee on the ground.

He purrs and rubs against me, walks away, comes back for more.

A silent smile plays on my lips, with a joy I can't ignore.

A door opens up at a nearby house, my friend looks over, wary

And sees the bowl placed on the deck and takes off in a hurry.

As he crests the low-slung porch, he pauses and looks at me

Before he dives into his food to devour it completely.

I softly whistle as I walk away, and feel I've found some proof

Of what my mind is searching for that, 'till now, has been aloof.

A solution begins to form itself, as I come home alone.

I lock the door, pick up my pen, and then unplug the phone.